I Do
by Silent Falling Rain
Summary: It was not about me anymore, and it was not about him anymore. It was about us, and our future, together.


**Woo! Here is my second story! I had this one idea in my head for NCIS and I was working on it when I was someplace, and this idea just came to me. I decided to run with it, and I really like how it turned out. I think it's really cute. Well, that's enough from me. Read and Review please!**

I cannot do it.

What had I been thinking? This was so stupid! I am throwing my life away. If I do this everything will be turned upside down. My job, my friends, my family. Everything. Nothing would ever be the same.

I thought life was supposed to be simple. You grow up, met some one, and live happily ever after. Apparently, for me it is not that easy. Okay, so I have always known I am a little different… all right maybe I am ALOT different, but I thought that was a good thing. I was not like every other girl, I am intelligent, tough, reliable, and yet, I still have beauty. I guess when I was a little girl I pictured this day from time to time, but I never thought it would actually happen.

I cannot do it.

Do you want to know the probability of me living happily ever after? The answer is 0%. Okay, now you are thinking that I am exaggerating. The funny thing is, I am not. Life is not a fairy tale and no one gets off that easily. Everyone suffers at some point, so how do I know that this choice I am making is the right one? How do I know that this will not turn ugly and I ended up all alone? I mean, so many people say it will never happen to them, but what about when it does?

What if I ruin everything for everyone I care about? How am I supposed to carry on if something like that happened? I would have to look in the eyes of the ones I truly care about and know that I am making them suffer.

I cannot do it.

Everything is just so wrong. How did this even start? Why did I let this start? One moment of weakness, of temptation, and I end up here. Giving in once led to me doing it again and again, making the one time thing becoming more and more serious every moment. Until that one day when I gave in completely. I had been so happy at that moment, loving everything about it. What an utter fool I had been.

I mean, how could I just let myself do this? I was raised better than this! Stay enclosed in a hard shell and let no one in. That is how you protect the ones you love. Right?

I cannot do it.

I cannot walk down those stairs in that big white gown, see all those people there, and I certainly cannot say those words. Who would have thought that I, Ziva David, would ever be frightened, especially by two itty, bitty words? Well, I am.

I am not this type of person. I never got all dressed up unless I have to; I never expressed my emotions; and I certainly never, ever imagined myself standing here, in this spot, right now. I was the tough girl, the girl that could hold her own. Never had a man ever intimidated me, not once.

Well, except for him. But it did not matter. This was not like me, and this was most definitely not where I thought I would end up.

I cannot do it.

Never has something scared me so much, never someone. This is useless! I need to stop this. I need to go home and get far away from here, far, far away.

Okay, I will just grab my… Oh, shoot, someone is knocking.

"Ziva, can I come in?"

"Uh… sure, Abby."

I hear the doorknob turn a little, and through the mirror I see Abby enter.

"Wow, Ziva, you look… well amazing! Not that you don't always, but… wow."

"Thanks, Abby." I mumble hoping she can hear it while I turn to face her. I hate when people tell be I look nice. It just makes me feel odd.

"So, uh, I just came in to tell you that everything is ready. Your dad is right outside the door, waiting. We don't have that much time to delay, people are getting restless. So, are you ready?"

My head was screaming no! For the past five minuets I have been mentally trashing this decision. "Ah, yeah." What?!? Did I just say that? What is my mouth thinking!?!

I saw Abby smile a small smile while I ranted at myself in my head. Abby moved closer to me until she was face to face with me. "Really, Ziva, you look stunning." That did not make me feel any better. "Look, I know you're probably totally second guessing yourself on this choice, but I know you made the right one. If I thought you were making a mistake I would have stopped you long ago. Stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen, and start thinking about all the good things that will happen. Don't doubt yourself, Ziva. Don't doubt the both of you."

With that Abby made her quiet exit, turning around at the last second. "Come out when you're ready, Ziva. We'll all be waiting."

I barely heard the door close. I could only faintly hear the voices coming from downstairs. I could only somewhat hear the slow music playing. The things I could hear were my shallow breathing, pounding heart, and my mind going over everything I had thought in the last few minutes.

No, things do not add up between us, but we work. That is what matters. I took a step forward, my courage building up. And, yeah, we are going to have problems, but so does everyone else! I may not be normal, but neither is he. I kept taking steps until soon I was reaching out for the doorknob.

I slowly pulled it open. I saw Abby and my father both glance at me as I came through the door. A huge smile spread across Abby's face, while a small, happy, yet sad, smile came into view on my father's face.

I heard the music change downstairs and soon Abby went around the corner and started to descend down the staircase. I took one last deep breath before I walked to my father, taking his arm in mine.

"I love you."

"I love you, too dad."

With those words said, we moved. I felt like time was slowing. Every step I took made me want to run right back into the room I had been waiting in and lock myself away. My father squeezed my hand and we started down the stairs.

Then I saw my family, or at least that is what I think of them as. Gibbs, Vance, Ducky, even Palmer. All of them stood in the first row, each giving me a different kind of smile. I could also see Abby standing there as my maid-of-honor and McGee as the best man. It gave me some reassurance, but not a lot.

I was about to just run for it, when I stepped off the last step and I could now see everything, including him.

Tony.

That thought should have scared me or made me laugh; but if it were any other man, I do not think I could do it.

The voices in my head died down with every step I took closer to Tony. If it were not for my dad I would have run down that aisle right into his arms. Soon enough the agonizingly slow walk was done and I was only inches from Tony. My dad kissed my hand and then let go of me.

Tony took my hands in his. We were facing each other now. He looks so handsome. His good suit, nice tie, and of course, his signature smile.

A few words were said. I was not really listening; I was only paying attention to Tony. He said something and then the priest turned to me.

It was not about me anymore, and it was not about him anymore. It was about us, and our future, together. Then one final question popped into my mind. Do you love him with all your heart?

"I do."

**Ha, I like that last little part. I thought it was clever her saying I do to both marriage and that she loves him. Well, I hope you liked it. It's longer that my other one so that makes me happy! Okay, so this is dedicated to dizzy-in-the-izzy as always. Have a good day!**

**~Silent**


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